Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
