I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
