I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
