My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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