We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
