dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
