Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize