She's JV to your varsity
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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