M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
