the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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