she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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