They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
