Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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