idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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