found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Damn victory sex feels great
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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