omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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