my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
