I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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