There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize