Apparently you make a good broom.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize