Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
