# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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