i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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