the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
