i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
