I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
