That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
