I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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