I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
