I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
