I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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