or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
