So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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