There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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