You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
