If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
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Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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