If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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