How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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