like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
