i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't deserve a penis
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
