jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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