A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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