So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
