Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
