the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
