apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
