soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
