Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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