Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
