I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize