She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
