Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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