The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
