How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
A bitchslap is in order.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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