My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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