covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
