dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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