susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
