Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
