I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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