remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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