its not stalking. its research.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
