i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
