You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
