Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
