Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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