He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
