Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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