bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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