If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
