He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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