I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
