can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
