Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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